Waiting…

Well J has kept to his word.  I thought I would take a step back and wait for something to happen.  Nothing yet, not even an attempt to initiate “reset sex”.  The suspense is killing me… I almost want to get it over and done with just to see what happens next.  But I also want to know if how I think I feel, is really how I feel in my heart.  That probably sounds a little convoluted and confusing (I didn’t sleep much last night) but I sometimes feel as though there are two different parts of me at war with each other.

At least if he attempts to have sex with me and I feel revulsion, then I’ll know for a fact that it is well and truly over.  If I don’t feel repulsed but J doesn’t attempt to have sex with me again at least a week later, then I’ll know it was just reset sex and yes, again – it is over.  One way or the other I’d like to know… looks like I’ll need to let him know I am interested.

I’m probably just setting myself up for more rejection here but I’m a stronger person than I was before and know what to expect (all too well).